as pretty as David, as robotic and numb as Victoria

Friday, June 22, 2007

Snakes! Why Did it Have to Be Sn--- Ow, My Back, Calista, Get My Slippers, I Need a Nap

I love me some Indiana Jones. (Last Crusade is obviously the best movie in the trilogy. Disagree with me? Then start your own blog with your own opinions [or in this case, fact].) How could someone not love Indiana Jones? And I'm not talking about the movies. I'm just talking about this:

I'm here for the bachelorette party

Sweat! Scars! Weapons! A sensitive look on his face! If I had been anywhere near puberty when the Indiana Jones movies first came into theatres, I would have came into theatres.

On the flip side, what I don't love is this:

Indiana Jones and the Early Bird Special

Oh, Harrison Ford. You're still looking good for your age (roughly one billion years old) but the dusty fedora is like me trying to fit into my prom dress. And my prom was just six years ago. The last time you wore that hat with any relevance, it was 1989, almost twenty years ago. Hayden Pannetierre wasn't even born yet.

Tell me a story, Uncie Indy!

Using the age of teenage Hollywood starlets to gauge just how really old you are really puts things in perspective, you know?

(P.S. is it wrong that I want to name my (eventually, I assume) son Indiana? His nickname could be Indy, and how hipster-cute is that? I totes would have crushed majorly on a guy named Indy, had I ever met a guy named Indy. But is that really a cool boy's name to have as your own, or a curse to always be associated with a movie character? I suppose it depends on how this fourth Indy film turns out. In any respect, it's a better name than Shia.)

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