as pretty as David, as robotic and numb as Victoria

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme!

I want this. In a bad way.

Gwen Stefani's Fragrance

The funny thing is, it's a perfume. Who cares what the bottle looks like? I won't be carting it around with me or fuse it onto a chain and convert it into some blingage. The only person who will even see it will be me, in the glass case where I keep all my other bevvy of perfumes. And who cares that it's Gwen Stefani? It's a SMELL. If I don't care for the smell, then the celebrity designing/promoting said fragrance shouldn't matter, right?

Who cares. I love Gwen Stefani, so according to chain rule, I will love this fragrance and will pay nearly $80 to own it, which, now that I'm typing that aloud, sounds FUCKING CRAZY. But who cares what it smells like! It smells like me owning anything my one true idol produces! Including this wallet, twice:

mine's empty because I spent all my cash on owning this wallet, twice

I bought this wallet in the first place because it was Gwen Stefani-related, also because I needed a new wallet, also because for a 10th grader, it was expensive but affordable (around $45, aka, I went a few months without buying any new CDs), but as it turned out, it was the best wallet in existence. Not only fashionable, it came with an outside guitar strap and an exterior coin purse large enough to fit your car keys in. It becamw it's own little bag extraordinaire. I worshipped it like a new tattoo, welcoming it into the rest of your life.

And then my gym locker at my Australian gym was broken into and they took my wallet (along with my cash, credit cards, and ID - not exactly the best thing to lose while in a foreign country). My precious, precious L.A.M.B. wallet - gone! So months later I finally found a replacement (although a brown one - not as cool) on eBay - for $100. But it had to be mine. And mine it still is, and if anybody ever messes with my L.A.M.B. wallet again, they will have to deal with THESE lambs.

No comments: