as pretty as David, as robotic and numb as Victoria

Friday, July 13, 2007

Posh It To the Limit

So Posh & Becks are now in Los Angeles... but this town ain't big enough for the both of us!!!

And that's why I'm moving to the UK. Foreign exchange program.

No, no, (unfortunately) I'm not moving out of LA. In fact, their presence in the media is probably only helping my bloggy blog here in mouseclicks. So thanks for all of you who have stumbled upon this blog in a search for David and Victoria's incredibly erotic W photoshoot. I wouldn't want you to walk away emptyhanded, so here you go:

I kinda like these guys. As far as celebrities go, they provide more eye-candy entertainment than naseating irritation. David actually has a talent and is well respected (at least in every other country in the world since America doesn't give a shit about soccer). Victoria at least used to be in a world-famous supergroup (and I guess still is?). They've got three kids and tattoos of their kids' names and other cryptic symbols and languages all over their body. They're both usually extremely well-dressed.... well, David anyway.

Although I have to say, wearing crazy outfits (particularly this hat) is probably the worst offense she's ever done to the world. As far as I know, she's never been in rehab, never bitch-slapped anybody in Hyde nightclub, never drove the wrong way on the freeway, never flashed her crotch (although her nipples are always searching for an escape). She just seems like a wild, filthy rich celebrity with a hot husband everyone likes (who knows who he is), and other than that, she's completely devoid of personality. And that's a celebrity I can like.

Also, as much criticism as this dress got, if I was a size negative 0, this is the first thing I would wear:

Welcome to LA, Posh and Becks! Your kids will be texting Lindsay Lohan any minute now. It's best you chain them to their beds while your here. Cheers!

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