as pretty as David, as robotic and numb as Victoria

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Girlfriend Is FUCKED

an adequite mug shot

Reports TMZ:

Lindsay Lohan might be adding a whole lotta striped jumpsuits to her wardrobe.

Already facing charges for driving under the influence and misdemeanor hit and run in Beverly Hills, Lindsay racked up even more charges last night in Santa Monica, and is now facing big-time jail time.

The maximum sentence she faced for the original DUI and hit and run charges was 6 months for each. Last night, Lindsay was charged with another DUI -- if convicted of both DUIs, she could face up to one year in jail. And the horror doesn't stop there! She was also charged with possession of cocaine, which is a felony and carries a maximum of three years in jail.

La Lohan is accused of driving on a suspended license as well, which carries a maximum of one year in jail. Her frenemy Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days for the same offense.

As far as the allegation of bringing cocaine into a correctional facility -- our sources tell us that this charge will most likely be dropped, because it is only enforced if someone transports drugs to an inmate in custody. La Lohan didn't willingly go to jail last night!

Judges don't take kindly to arrestees whose crimes occur so close together -- so it's quite possible that the proverbial book will be thrown at her. In a worst case scenario, Lilo could face SIX YEARS in jail!

Lindsay and I attended the same high school at the same time (I was a senior, she was the freshman "who was in that Parent Trap movie"). I feel as though we share a kinship, although I graduated Calhoun High School with honors, and she left junior year to eventually become a movie star, recording artist, and firecrotch. Because of our shared Long Island upbringing (me, Linds, and Amy Fischer - Long Island's finest), I take special note of the comings and goings of Miss Lohan in all her Adventures Through the Car Windsheild. I make jokes and poke fun, but seriously, the girl's probably hiding WMD's in her nasal cavity alone. Someone needs to chain this girl to a radiator Black Snake Moan style before she kills herself. Although I bet her funeral at Pure nightclub would be the party of the year. She should preoder a Louis Vioutton coffin before Britney picks up the last one.

OMG, i can't stop driving things!!!

(thanks LOLHAN blog for the giggles)

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