Finding Emo: Barnyard Animal Edition

No one understands an emo cow, the angstiest animal on the farm.



what's the point of living, just kill me and make me a steak. at least that way someone will love me

Finding Emo: Tickle Me Emo

I'm a huge fan of Mad TV, and for a few years (current cast and digital shorts not included) I'd rather go to sleep at 11:30pm on a Saturday night than be forced to watch Saturday Night Live. Mad TV may not be as iconic a television institution, and it might be taped beforehand, but it was consistently funny starring extremely gifted comedic actors. So who cares, as long as it's entertaining?

I don't really watch TV on Saturday nights anymore (I'm too busy sleeping -- what can I say, I'm an old woman at 24) but I'm glad to see that Mad TV is still makin' the funny.



Oh emo jokes! Will I ever tire of you?!

Please make sure to check out my good friend Dance's (yes, that's her amazingly real name) new tongue-in-cheek (or as I like to say, tongue-ring-in-chic) emo blog, Heart-Shaped Bot. Because there's nothing more emo than the only robot who can feel pain. Sentience is so unfair.

I KNEW HE WAS THE BEST!

I started watching American Idol at the beginning of Season 3 purely for ironic purposes. I wanted to make fun of people like all other true-blooded Americans. That's why reality TV is so successful and continues to be successful. We should just relabel it Shadenfreude TV.

anyway, so Idol is my guilty pleasure, but I guess I'm not so guilty since I'm openly admitting my love for the show, even though it's incredibly cheesy at times and how PRODUCT PLACEMENT it becomes and how they continue to let through horrible, horrible singers as opposed to decent-to-very-good tenors who have a unique style all their own. (Yes, I auditioned. And no, I'm not bitter.*)

My favorite this past season since the moment I laid eyes on him was Blake Lewis. He looked different, he sounded different, he had nice tattoos, dressed well, and dyed his hair emo-black halfway through the show. What's not to like?


do not be fooled by my sweatervest, i am very awesome

Well, I'm happy to say that he just leaked his first single and it's a fun dance track, not some sappy This Is My Moment Now So Thanks In Your Heaven kind of crap that Idol alumni usually release. Take a listen for yourself, and if you have any reality-TV competition prejudices, just pretend you're hearing it on the radio in your car for the first time. Don't tell me you wouldn't car-dance if you heard this on your commute to work.

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*I'm extremely bitter.

Finding Emo

Another hilarious installment of News Shows That Need Filler So They Attack Teenage Styles They Don't Understand:




But honestly, what in the eff has My Chemical Romance ever done to you, stupid CBS reporters? They're attacked almost as much as FAKE EMO ONLINE QUIZZES that ARE IN ON THE FUCKING JOKE. Gerard Way and the rest of the MCR should not be scapegoated for anyone cutting themself a la Marilyn Manson during the Columbine era - ya know, there's a lot of people out there cutting themselves, and they wear Abercrombie & Fitch. Some even wear Karl Lagerfeld (and no underwear underneath). Don't blame a brilliant (and highly entertaining live) band who has no interest in encouraging kids to hurt themselves. Sometimes ignorance stops being funny and just starts getting on my nerves.

Grr! Bex angry!

On another note, after watching that video, I'm less terrified of EMO coming to get me than I am of this guy:

Finding Emo

This just makes me giggle.



You give me a good emo pun, and I laugh. Guess I'm not so angsty after all!

Finding Emo

There's only so many funny Japanese clips on the internet... just kidding! There are endless amounts of funny Japanese clips! I will never, ever run out! The day I run out of hilarious, awkward and nightmare-inducing clips from Japanese commercials, game shows, or whatever the fuck this is, I will personally fly to Tokyo and take some home movies of dogs riding bikes and english teachers exercising while teaching you about the finer points of rape prevention (as I assume will be on every street corner).

But maybe Japanese video clips aren't enough for you. Maybe you're in the mood for something darker, something more emotional, something more, I don't know, Fall Out Boy-ish.

You're in luck! Bex has a new feature called Finding Emo - because I find emo culture mesmerizing and hilarious, and there's tons of emo things wandering around on the web.

I was goth for my entire 9th grade and the beginning of 10th grade. No, I didn't wear white face makeup or commit suicide (uh, obviously). I never even referred to myself as "goth" or "freak", if by those terms you mean "Every Other Day I Wore Black Lipstick and Thick Black Eyeliner and Okay Sometimes an Entire Outfit Made of Pressed Black Velvet (No Joke, I Totally Had This In My Wardrobe For An Entire Year With No Shame) Unless I Felt Like Phoning In My Outfit and Instead Wore Old Navy". I did write a lot of bad mature poetry and the Lost Highway sountrack was in my CD collection.

As far as turn ons of the opposite sex go, I have always been into the "bad" boys - goth boys, boys who wore eyeliner and hair in front of their face, boys who played guitar regardless if they were any good at it or not. My last boyfriend was one of these types of boys, and it was major swoon! I guess he would be considered more "emo" than "goth", though (although he wouldn't seriously label himself as anything, just like I never called myself "freak" in high school, but that's what I was called by others).

What exactly is the difference between "goth" and "emo"? Emo is goth with a sense of humor. I think when most people define themselves as being "emo", they're really in on the joke - the whole entire culture can make fun of itself, while goth kids are really just moping around, trying to get attention. Emo kids blast their iPods and wear ripped up, tight, black clothes like a faux-rockstar to get attention - but have fun in the meantime.

I don't think the local news team reporting on emo culture are in the joke, though:



Watch out! Emo could happen to you or somebody you love.

And just because I am a shameless self-promoter, check out one of my favorite songs I've ever written about my love for boys who know how to cry - Tongue Ring in Chic. Who doesn't love a good song title pun?