as pretty as David, as robotic and numb as Victoria

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

IDOL RECAP: Amanda Amanda Amanda!

Hey guys! So I'm back and ready for American Idol Bloggy McUpdates. I don't even bother until the Final 12 (cause, let's face it, i'm lazy and can only keep this up for 12 weeks instead of a billion). Here we go! (and thanks TMZ for agreeing with me on the above image)

It's Beatles night on Idol, and I'm a fan of The Beatles' music, but I'm not like one of those crazy faaaaaaaaans who compare every song ever not written by The Beatles with songs written by The Beatles. I also thought Across the Universe was semi-awful/semi-good, as opposed to Beatles faaaaaaaans who flat out detested it. But uh-oh, Chipmunk David Archuleta already used his Beatles song with Imagine. He should just sing it again, there ain't no way he can top it.

"Say hello to your brand new set” -- Ryan

Hi new set! Sure, I guess it looks nice, but is anyone really talking about the set the day after the Oscars? Who the eff cares where the good stuff happens? They can sing outside on an apple box for all I care about the set.

Oh god. This is going to be 2 hours long because the first hour is just introducing the set. Though the set probably has a more well put together interview package than Kristy Lee Cook.

sYESsha – singing... a Beatles song? I've never heard this one.

I can't get that get that weird baby sound out of my head. Not a good sign. But the fact I can't recognize this song should be a compliment for Syesy, since I can't compare her to The Beatles. Sounds like an R&B song. Oh, I love this girl. She's damn cute. I'm predicting…. Top 7? She’s the only black girl in the competition as opposed to Black Girl Divathon from Season 3 (Fantasia, LaToya, J-Hud) so she should keep getting votes for awhile.

Chikeze – She's a Woman

TWINNIE ALERT – Forest Whitaker. C'mon, you can so see it.

Used to be an LAX baggage worker/security – Oh my god I want Chikeze checking to see if I packed drugs in my teddy bears.
I was about to say "don't quit your airport day job" but I LOVE this. He’s doing something different, and I can totally see his personality everytime he's on stage. ENOUGH OF THE BLAKE LEWIS SWEATER VESTS though. Dress for the big night that it is! He won me over. And I thought he was gone last week, too! THIS is what gets you votes – DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT even when you’re NOT singing. Prance and dance! Shout WOO a billion times like Jaime Fox!

Raimele – In My Life
Haha she dedicates her performancde for her “close friends who left the show already” awwww she misses her gay bff what's his face, his name is already gone from my memory. Sanjaya you are not, sir! (madam?)
Most importantly, of course, is her dress style is getting a LOT better with that cute giant white belt. She’s got the crowd waving! That couldn't possibly be the work of the producers, could it?!
I kind of love this version too. What’s happening to me?? Why doesn’t anyone suck???
How much you wanna bet someone mentions her height??
THOUGHT: Miss Saigon movie musical much? She could SO be Kim. Don't lie to yourself. You know she could.
Very subtle performance… it was sweet. Controlled.

Oh god Paula and her backwards compliments. “you look pretty tonight.” Kiss of death. Aaaaand they don't like it. Simon tears her a new one. She makes a puppy dog face. That might get you out of taking the trash out at home, sweetie, but not here.

Jason Castro – If I Fell

Why is he even on this show? He should be in your local coffeehouse. Oh. Well I guess that’s why. I sorta meant that as a compliment.

He knows he can’t hit those notes, but he plays it endearing. I kind of wish he’d do something fast. That’s not really him though, is it?

“Student in a bedroom at midnight” – Simon. Simon always tells it like it is, even when I like the singer. I guess this stage demands something bigger than acoustic guitar.

Ryan and simon are playfighting… I’m lost.

Carly – Come Together

She’s only been in the country 3 years!!! She’s not even a citizen. I CALL SHENANIGANS! her hair looks ten times better, but I still don’t want my American Idol to have a non-American accent. Call me nationalistic and racist, but seriously, I don't. I'd rather a Kellie Pickler-sounding girl win than someone who represents another nation.
Okay. Its kind of awesome. She’s “in it”. Stop trying to convert me, bitch!
The crowd fucking loves her. I’m still not obsessed. Maybe I like them underdogs.

I think Simon has a winking problem. We kind of don’t do that in America.

DAVID MY BELOVED COOK singing my FAVORITE BEATLES SONG. Elenor Rigby. It’s fate.

TWINNIE ALERT: Emo Jimmy Fallon
He bartended? I bartended! MARRY ME.
Without exaggerating, the chorus gave me chills. Holy god. I WANT HIS SEX.
Simon thinks he could win if it remains a talent competition. I stand by my love of this man. No other critique necessary. So much love.

Brooke White – Let it Be
TWINNIE ALERT: Cate Blanchett?

Playing piano. Is it gonna be boring? I like seeing talented musicians, though. I’m not thrilled but she’s probably a better performer with her own songs. Underwhelming.

We’re halfway through the show. I bet you right now Kristy Lee Cook is leaving next week and she hasn't even performed yet.

David Hernandez – saw her standing there
TWINNIE ALERT: Aladdin with a shirt on?

Pizza parlor? Are you kidding me? WE ALL KNOW. JUST ADMIT IT.
I'm sorry, I went to go make chocolate milk while david was singing. That’s how much I care about him. Boring.

“corny verging on desperate” – simon. As delicious as my chocolate milk.


Amanda Overmyer - You Can't Do That (what?)

TWINNE ALERT: Joy from Earl (voice wise) and Beetlejuice. Don't say her name three times!!!

Enough of the black and white skunk look already. But, she's perfect. She wins the Fantasia award for Most Distinct Voice in the competition. She STANDS OUT! And I love her. I'm predicting.... at least Top 5.

Michael Johns - Across the Universe
He's been in America for ten years… hmm. Okay, that's longer than "the irish girl" (as Simon said, forgetting Carly's name) but you’re not an American. BOO! And I love me some Australians!
You don't sing this song unless you can effing BRING IT. And I kind of hate the arrangement. This has been covered so many times. How can you make it new? Answer: you don’t. well, he don’t.

Kristy Lee Cook - Country 8 Days a week?
They said COUNTRY not REDNECK!

“I didn’t enjoy it.” – paula. THANK YOU! You get a gold star for not warbling tonight!

David Archuleta - we can work it out

They gave David Archuleta the pimp slot AGAIN. Why bother having a TV show?

He finally showed his age, huh? And that licking lips thing really is getting on my nerves.
No wonder he sang ballad after ballad. He looks weird when he shimmies to a fast song.

All in all, I pretty good night. Here's how I'm rating everyone for the night:

1. David Cook 2. Chikeze, 3. Carly 4. Amanda 5. Jason Castro 6. Ramielle 7. Syesha 8. Brooke White 9. Michael Johns 10. David Hernandez 11. David Archuleta 12. Kristy Lee Cook

That ranking is crazy. What's Chikeze doing up there and David doing down there?? More importantly, who's even reading this? Are you?

No comments: