as pretty as David, as robotic and numb as Victoria

Monday, February 18, 2008

More Like Marilyn Mon-HOE

Marilyn Monroe is a tragic classic Hollywood figure, and she's also a fucking icon. You, Lindsay Lohan, are no icon.

You are an It Girl. In fifty years, no one will have paintings of YOU hanging in their art galleries or on the walls of their mansion. No teenage girl is going to have a print of one of those photographs hanging in her bedroom, lip synching in their brush to "Rumors". I would even say Britney has a better shot of infamy than you ever will. So stop fucking thinking you're here to stay. You aren't. I bet your liver won't last another year, give or take.

Also, Lindsay has become a true-to-form Butterface. No wonder she draped a sheet over her head. Her body's the only thing left she's got going for her, since her looks, her talent and her health have gone MIA. Furthermore... New York magazine? Seriously? She couldn't expose herself in, say, Vanity Fair or W or Vogue, something a little bit more high-end fashion? Girl may as well have done a Playboy spread. You know that's coming one more rehab vacay away.

I don't even want this Long Island Lolita's bits tainting my beautiful blog, so I'll provide the link for you to see the rest of the pics, but you'll have to provide your own lube.

get the eff off your high horse, bitch


danielletbd said...

You've been tagged! Read all about what that means here:

Mike Miller said...

sssssssizzzzle... OUCH! What th--oh! BURN!