The funny thing is, it's a perfume. Who cares what the bottle looks like? I won't be carting it around with me or fuse it onto a chain and convert it into some blingage. The only person who will even see it will be me, in the glass case where I keep all my other bevvy of perfumes. And who cares that it's Gwen Stefani? It's a SMELL. If I don't care for the smell, then the celebrity designing/promoting said fragrance shouldn't matter, right?
Who cares. I love Gwen Stefani, so according to chain rule, I will love this fragrance and will pay nearly $80 to own it, which, now that I'm typing that aloud, sounds FUCKING CRAZY. But who cares what it smells like! It smells like me owning anything my one true idol produces! Including this wallet, twice:
mine's empty because I spent all my cash on owning this wallet, twice
I bought this wallet in the first place because it was Gwen Stefani-related, also because I needed a new wallet, also because for a 10th grader, it was expensive but affordable (around $45, aka, I went a few months without buying any new CDs), but as it turned out, it was the best wallet in existence. Not only fashionable, it came with an outside guitar strap and an exterior coin purse large enough to fit your car keys in. It becamw it's own little bag extraordinaire. I worshipped it like a new tattoo, welcoming it into the rest of your life.
And then my gym locker at my Australian gym was broken into and they took my wallet (along with my cash, credit cards, and ID - not exactly the best thing to lose while in a foreign country). My precious, precious L.A.M.B. wallet - gone! So months later I finally found a replacement (although a brown one - not as cool) on eBay - for $100. But it had to be mine. And mine it still is, and if anybody ever messes with my L.A.M.B. wallet again, they will have to deal with THESE lambs.
And now, the top Gwen Stefani Related Moment of My Life. This is gonna have to be short because I have to leave to drive lightyears away to Irvine to get to her concert on time.
"Simple Kind of Life" is probably my favorite No Doubt song, my favorite Gwen song, and in my Top 5 favorite, most personally heartwarming/breaking songs of all time. (Also on that list: Grand Theft Autumn by Fall Out Boy (of whom I am seeing tomorrow in concert [but that's another post]), I'll Fly with You by Gigi D'Agostino, The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel and a wild card song).
This is the first song Gwen ever composed completely on her own. It's one of the most honest songs I've ever heard - at points it doesn't even care if it rhymes anymore: I always thought I'd be a mom Sometimes I wish for a mistake The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get You seem like you'd be a good dad
That entire verse isn't even concerned with being included in a song - it's just honesty that I doubt could ever have been written by a man. It's exclusively the female perspective, and it's not often that you hear that on the radio. (Mad props to Alanis and Tori Amos, while we're at it.)
I fell in love with this song while I was falling in love with one of my high school friends. We were close enough to know one another well and hang out occassionally, but not close enough to hang out that often (he was in college for most of my time spent in high school), and his absence throughout most of my days made me pine for him more, and cherish our coffee dates and movie nights. He inspired my first mature thoughts of adoration and love - the first person I ever thought I could marry, not just go to a dance with. I remember walking throughout Williams-Sonoma with my mom when I was 16, and looking at the couches and silverware and other adult-home necessities that I generally yawned over, but this time, I couldn't wait until I was old enough to have a home and come here to decorate it. With him, more specifically. Children, home, family, the works, and that was nothing something I thought I wanted.
But could I ever really have that? The life I chose for myself when I was sixteen - eventually attending film school, on my way to fame and fortune and Hollywood - didn't seem to encourage families or anything "simple". But if anything, the family part with love and committed relationships (and suburbia and humility and co-dependence) is what's complicated. Those things are anything but simple to get.
Did I mention I love her pink hair? And that I was so inspired by Gwen's dye job that I decided to try it myself?
Okay, so I didn't have the balls (or enough dye) to color my whole head pink. And yeah, Gwen did it first. But dying your hair punk colors is the sincerest form of flattery.
We're coming down to the wire on Gwen Stefani week. Tomorrow's the concert! Squeal!!!
So, My #2 Most Beloved Gwen Stefani-Related Moment are the songs New and Cool, both in regards to my time spent in Australia. More specifically, my time spent in Australia with my ex old boyfriend. (I hate the word "ex". "Ex" implies something along the lines of "well that was a mistake!" when in this case, it was anything but.)
To save the long story for my own personal Dear Diary journal entry (and therapy sessions [and poetry jams]) we met at a nightclub in Australia and it pretty much took off from there. Everything about how I felt that night, and the following months of our courtship, is pretty much summed up by this song (and somewhat the video as well):
"New"
Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay And I can't believe I've had this chance now Don't let it go away
New, you're so new You, you're new And I never had this taste in the past New, you're so new
My normal hesitation is gone And I really gravitate to your will Are you here to fetch me out? 'Cause I've never had this taste in my mouth
Oh you're not old And you're not familiar Recently discovered and I'm learning about you
New, you're so new You, you're new
And you're consuming me violently And your reverence shamelessly tempting me Who sent this maniac? 'Cause I never had this taste in the past
Oh you're different, you're different from the former Like a fresh battery, I'm energized by you
Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay And I can't believe I've had this chance now Don't let it go away
Why am I so curious? This territory is dangerous I'll probably end up at the start I'll be back in line with my broken heart New, you're so new You, you're new And I never had this taste in the past
Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay Don't let it go away This feeling has got to stay And I can't believe I've had this chance now Don't let it go away
And I can't believe it Can't believe it Can't believe it Can't believe it Don't let it go away, this feeling has got to stay Don't let it go away
So, good times. (How can you have anything but good times in a place this effing beautiful?) Unfortunately, good dating times aren't so easy to have when you live the entire length of the Pacific Ocean apart. So "New" has evolved into "Cool":
(Did I mention this is probably the most beautiful video ever shot? I'm not even talking about Gwen [although she looks adorable in brown hair and that retro dress, and the classiest lady I would ever consider sexually reassigning myself for when she's rolling around on that bed]. For reals, though, look at that scenery! Booking a flight to Italy as we speak.)
(Okay, I'm full of lies. Just watch the damn video.)
"Cool"
It's hard to remember how it felt before Now I found the love of my life... Passes things get more comfortable Everything is going right
And after all the obstacles It's good to see you now with someone else And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends After all that we've been through I know we're cool
We used to think it was impossible Now you call me by my new last name Memories seem like so long ago Time always kills the pain
Remember Harbor Boulevard The dreaming days where the mess was made Look how all the kids have grown We have changed but we're still the same After all that we've been through I know we're cool
And I'll be happy for you If you can be happy for me Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend So far from where we've been I know we're cool
Just look at Gwen's dead-on-accurate facial expressions in this vid! You so know she absolutely hates this and is trying her best to be polite and friendly to her old flame and his new gal. That is exactly what I imagine my own face to look like when I inevitably go through the same thing, whenever in the future that is. It will probably happen when I'm in sweatpants, not wearing makeup, stepping off a plane, jetlagged, and not at my Italian villa when I look absolutely perfect and put together. Anyways, I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be able to be satisfied the rest of my life with just "Cool". (For the past few months it's been more akin to these lyrics. Or, ya know, from time to time, these.)
Yes, I made my own Cheshire Cat satchel. I also have a hard on for arts and crafts.
better angle, because this is my blog and I can post as many embarassing photos of myself as I see fit
I watched the Disney cartoon growing up... and then I watched it again the first time I was ever totally bonged out my junior year of college. (Comparison: not much had changed; I still didn't understand a damn thing in that movie.) I read the books (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass) by Lewis Carrol, and the made-for-tv movie featuring every celebrity on Earth alive in the 80s was watched on repeat until I was eighttwelve today.
So when Gwen's first single off her first solo album Love. Angel. Music. Baby had an Alice in Wonderland theme... I was hooked. She knows I exist! She's doing everything according to my tastes! Either that, or Gwen knows that somewhere out there, there is a college student destined to be her BFF 4EVA. And that college student (at the time) was moi.
Anyway, here's a link to the normal, director's cut of the video. Below is a video for the remix of the song, which is mushroom-taking-tastic*.
*Posh&Bex does not endorse the use of taking psychotropic mushrooms. She much prefers these. Or really, these. Especially when she's on this.
You knew it was coming. I love this song so much that it's gotta be on the Top 5 Gwen Moments List. And not even as a guilty pleasure, as displayed by me admitting just how much I love this song in this public forum. ("Public" in this context meaning "I write, you read, and comment if you're feeling especially randy.")
Hollahback Girl, the song that keeps on giving whether you're on a treadmill, at a gay club, in a private karaoke room, or just singing at the top of your lungs in your car:
Mostly, I love this song (besides how catchy the beat is) because it's effing ridiculous. This shit is bananas? And then you SPELL the word "bananas"? That's your chorus? But it works. For me anyway. I know people who imagine hell as this song being played over and over. But, oh no. It's not this song. It's this song.
This week is officially Gwen Stefani week here at Posh&Bex. I'm seeing her Sweet Escape concert on Friday and I shall spend the next five days celebrating that I finally get to see her perform live.
I've seen No Doubt in concert twice before, but this is different. This is MY IDOL on her own tour. I was in Australia during her last tour (damn, Australia, 7,488 miles away from everything!) and I've been bitching the last year about missing it. But finally, on Friday, I'll be heading down to Irvine to see her in concert, by myself. Naturally it's always more fun to go to concerts with somebody (there's a lot of down time in between acts where a whole lot of nothing is goes on) but at the time same time, my affinity for Gwen is best appreciated without the scrutiny of others.
Really? You like her THAT much?
Yes. Yes I do.
I bought Tragic Kingdom like everyone else who was alive in 1995. Along with Jagged Little Pill and Nevermind, everyone owned that album. The songs were fun and catchy, Gwen was attractive, the Tomboy Next Door, and their music videos were light and colorful. What's not to like?
This was during my initial songwriting and poetry writing phase, where I would read the song lyrics in every CD's liner notes and see what my favorite bands/musicians were actually talking about. I realized that songs like "Hey You" and "The Climb" were actually really well-written, with themes and opinions and more than two-syllable words! This was surprising and inspiring to me, since most songs I listened to at the time were less than subtle in their meanings. And I also discovered that Gwen wrote all the lyrics. The girl can write AND sing! I immediately loved her.
(Of course there is also the fact that the boy I was in love with at the time had a huge Gwen Stefani obsession, which effectively bearded his homosexuality I soon discovered at my 15th birthday party when I found him making out with another male invitee. But that's another life-damaging story for another post!)
Gwen, you and your music has been in my life for over a decade. Thank you.
And the countown begins! I'll start at Gwen's own beginnings, No Doubt's Trapped in a Box video.
Look how cute and innocent and unplatinum she is in the video! Not like she's an uncute, corrupt blonde ho-bag now, naturally, but she's so grundgy ska it's adorable. I wish flannel shirts would hurry up and come back into style. They were soft, easy to sinch with a scrunchie, and when worn around your waist, it could mask one's huge ass like an invisible cloak. Flannel was magic.
